just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
