I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize