I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Just invented taco cereal.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
