Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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