The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
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