what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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