I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
