I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
