Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
