so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
