none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
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