So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
