Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
