somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
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