Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Randomize
