I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
We left an ass print on the piano.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Randomize