i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
