He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
