how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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