Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
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