How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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