We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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