Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
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