my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
