wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
