I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
