my being single is dangerous.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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