...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
my being single is dangerous.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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