when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
