we have officially lost it.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
