I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
