i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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