You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Randomize
