ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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