.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
