Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
