I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
