it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
