Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
