my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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