David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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