I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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