A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
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