You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
