His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize
