I got chris browned last night
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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