Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
