We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
