quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
