Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
being pregnant is like rehab
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
