Why does Corona taste like a burp?
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
