Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Randomize
