Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
He better not be in your backpack
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Randomize
