Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
