i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
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