I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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