found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Randomize
