she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize