What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
