Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
