I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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