So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
