Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
