i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
never play flip cup with pint glasses
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize