3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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