Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
The adults are the big ones right?
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
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