whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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