I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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