The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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