im gay
i know
yea but for you.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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