When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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