I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
