How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Randomize