I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Randomize
