I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
