i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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