my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
